About Me

 My Journey Through Stress

Stress started early in my life. My dad worked for the government, and we moved a lot for his job. Every time we moved, I had to start over at a new school. By the time I finished high school, I had been to eleven different schools. Each move was hard. I didn’t want to make friends because I knew we would be leaving again soon. But the hardest part was being the “new kid” every single year.

The bullying started in second grade – in a place I thought was safe: the boys’ bathroom. I got pushed, tripped, and even punched. This happened in almost every school I went to. By fifth grade, the stress got so bad that our doctor said I had signs of stomach ulcers. He put me on a baby food diet.

In high school, I turned to alcohol to help with the stress. As a freshman, I even took cherry vodka to school. The bullying didn’t stop. I joined the football team as a junior, thinking it would help. It didn’t. Instead of stopping the bullying, my own teammates started picking on me. 

I added marijuana and over-the-counter meds to my routine. I also worked out with weights and practiced martial arts. Those helped a little, but the stress stayed.

In college, I took full-time classes and worked full-time too. I kept using drugs and alcohol, along with martial arts and weightlifting, to cope. I lost interest in school and I was in a dead-end job at work. Life felt stuck, and the stress just grew.

Then I joined the Army. I worked as a surgical tech at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. The job was stressful. Surgeons were demanding, and it was tough knowing patients could die. But the worst part was that I couldn’t quit for four years.

After the Army, I stayed in the medical field, working in operating rooms with more high-stress surgeons. The pressure made me so sick I would sometimes call in just from stomach pain. To escape, I switched to the night shift as part of the trauma team. Surprisingly, it was less stressful. I focused on saving lives, not dealing with tough personalities. And when things were quiet at night, I got a break.

But one night, everything changed.

On Father’s Day in 1987, I was attacked at work by someone trying to steal drugs. I was hit in the back of the head with a heavy object. My skull was fractured, and I fell into a coma for three days. Doctors gave me only a 5% chance to live. When I woke up, I just wanted to get out of that hospital. I was worried it could happen again.

Over the next 18 months, I had to recover from serious brain damage. I had trouble with basic math and finding the right words. I stayed up every night until after 1 a.m.—the time I was attacked—afraid it would happen again.

Some nights, I would “wake up” outside, dressed in black, carrying martial arts weapons, hiding in bushes, looking for my attacker. My brain injury also messed with my emotions. I could cry, laugh, or even become angry in seconds for no reason.

I entered a special rehab program to retrain my brain to handle stress. That’s when I started learning about how the brain works and how we can manage it. I built a plan using concentration, memory exercises, positive thinking, exercise, and setting goals.

I went back to school to study computer drafting and got a job with an engineering company. But I didn’t feel like I was helping people. Then my in-laws offered me a job selling hearing aids in Albuquerque. After talking with my wife, we moved to New Mexico, hoping for a better, less stressful life.

The new job was better in many ways. I loved helping people. But it came with new stress. I worked long hours, sometimes from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and had to travel often. The pay was all based on sales – if I didn’t sell, I didn’t earn anything. My manager would say, “Every morning, you wake up broke.”

One business trip caused even more problems. The transmission wore out and I had to buy a used car. The next day – Easter Sunday – my sons and I took the car out for a drive. 

We were enjoying the sunshine and the view of the Sandia Mountains when – BANG! The right rear tire shredded and wrapped around the axle. The car spun out of control, flipped into the air, and landed upside down.

I couldn’t move or breathe. My sons were taken to a different hospital than me. I barely remember anything after that. In the hospital, doctors found I had crushed one of my neck bones, twisted my spinal cord, suffered a head injury, and had many broken bones. My wife was asked to sign a “Do Not Resuscitate” form. She refused. I owe her my life.

I spent three months in and out of reality – sometimes aware, sometimes lost in dreams and confusion. Then came three more months of rehab. I had to learn how to live in a wheelchair. Everything—from turning over in bed to going to the bathroom—had to be done with help. That was really hard for someone who had always been independent.

Therapy was painful. Every movement hurt. But I kept going. At the same time, my family and I were dealing with a lawsuit against the used car dealership and tire company. That was a whole different kind of stress. The case ended in an out-of-court settlement, which gave us some financial safety.

We moved to Portland where my parents helped us find a house. But stress didn’t stop. There was no income. Family life changed. Roles shifted. Everyone had to adjust.

I wanted to help others again. That’s when I joined the Oregon Chapter of the Paralyzed Veterans of America. I became a board member, then president. I got to work with lawmakers to help people with disabilities. It was stressful but meaningful. I also stayed active in the Chamber of Commerce, Rotary Club, and Elks Lodge.

Eventually, I found a new career path. I joined the counseling program at Portland State University. I did really well – winning scholarships, awards, and joining honor societies. I even received two top university awards that no counseling student had ever won before.

I opened a private counseling practice. The first year was very stressful like any new business. But I used everything I had learned from my own journey – brain science, trauma recovery, stress reduction – and began helping others.

After ten years, I retired from counseling and shifted to Life Coaching.

I’ve worked with all kinds of people: a combat veteran who couldn’t leave his room, a survivor of a murder-suicide attempt, and a young executive who froze in fear at his front door each day.

Through all of this, I’ve learned to manage my stress. I follow a daily plan to keep my stress low and stay focused on the future. 

That’s how I became a stress specialist – by walking through stress, trauma, pain, and recovery.

Now, I help others do the same.